"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get–only with what you are expecting to give–which is everything."
–Katharine Hepburn
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
–Jesus
These Quotes are considered to be some of the greatest quotes on the topic of love in all of history.
They say all that needs said about love because an interchangeable word with love is the word sacrifice.
We do not like this word at all.
We find it offensive because we as a people do not like expectations that are not our own.
\
Other’s expectations often feel like weights instead of get to’s. They feel like chains instead of freedom. They say “we” do not matter as much as the person in front of us and the truth is we are selfish.
Ouch.
It is the truth though. We all show up to do the jobs we have for the exchange of perceived value. We all chose our spouses out of what they brought to our lives in exchange for the work they would take.
Some of us go through life in a purely transactional manner. We balance the scale, make sure we are not wronged or mishandled in any way shape or form. We hold others to our standards and when they are not met with the same level of execution as we command, the other side is demonized and we demand change.
Then on the other hand, some of us, live with open hands constantly. We are walked over and left for dead by the crowd who pays no attention to the damage they have done. We then turn bitter and are angry at the living sacrifice we became and everyone else is now the problem.
Then there is the middle.
Which is most of us.
We straddle this line, we live in, out or beside these lines all the time. Sometimes, we even live in a way that is through the lens of gratitude. We truly live with grateful heart occasionally and it fills every room with warmth and peace. But if we were honest about how we operate in a fire. We look out for what is best for us. We rationalize it with fear of our uncertain outcomes and give life to a scarcity mindset that then robs of us of our ability to be grateful for the room we were standing in when the fire broke out.
We must begin to move our hearts in the direction of a posture that honors truth, grace and the person or peoples in front of us.
Why?
Because a selfishness never built anything good. It builds. But it never builds anything good.
It builds the idea that we matter more than everyone else, that our needs are more important the others, that our thoughts are higher than those of our neighbors, that our children, our work, our commitments, our ideology, our problems and our lives have more value than all others. It builds fear, it builds separation, it breeds isolation and contempt.
These are all qualities that we shudder at.
Who wants a friend that only shows up for themselves and what they get?
Who wants an employee that has no care for the customer?
Who wants a child that only cares about themselves?
Who wants a vehicle that only wants to start when it wants to start?
These seem obvious and even ridiculous. However if you and I are actually honest without ourselves, we don’t think that our behaviors are selfish because we always justify everything we do to make sure we are always the hero of our story.
However, It is a choice.
The quotes this blog opened with are filled with choices.
Our days are filled with choices.
Sacrifice is a choice.
Therefore, Love is a choice.
We make choices every day, that either build others up, or let our selfishness run wild. We can justify or we can honor ourselves and others by a choice.
The choice is mostly hard.
It is so hard to respond instead of react.
It is so hard to lean in and not run away.
It is hard to choose the benefit of others over ourselves.
But…
It is necessary.
It is necessary because the 80 year old version of ourself that is full of regrets and missed opportunities is on stand by at every corner of every choice.
Let us choose the hard things together.
Let’s fail together.
Let’s sacrifice together.
Let’s Love LOUD.
Peace.
Zack Schuyler
VP of Student Experience
Comments